N.L.P. swimwear - Operation:HotBitch 3.0 just got real

In an endone-induced fog last week, I was feeling so miserable (the post-surf high quickly slumped into a shoulder-pain-like-it's-childbirth-low) I needed to treat myself. Since attempting to be a grown-up with this mortgage shiz (aka 'death pledge') I have stopped buying myself nice things and now that I'm land-locked again, I looked on the bright side and thought, 'If I can't surf for a while longer, at least I can look like a fox on the beach.'

I have been agog at the consistency of babes (and their bazookas) on the N.L.P. instagram feed. Check it out. Amazing, right? The pics I've posted here are of the bikini I've bought in blue. Bing. Bong.

And N.L.P. are very clever. Try as I might, I found it very hard to find a store online where the pre-orders hadn't sold out so couldn't type in my credit card details fast enough when I did.

Ladies love N.L.P. And to be honest, if friends start calling me Chesty McBooberson or Tits Magee in these bathers, I'll be stoked.

Obviously it's now time to take on Operation:HotBitch 3.0. My workmates have various beach holidays coming up and have taken up O.H.B. with great gusto. We're all working up to doing 250 squats alongside the usual healthy eating thing.

Holy bejeezus.

Tonight, I must start with 50 squats. And I am currently in my fleece fox onesie looking like an overgrown 8 year old. Yep a whole different kind of foxy to the NLP ladies. It's hawt.