Muttonometer: would Madame like the mutton or lamb?

In the past month or so I think I have had another growth spurt, ie, realising that I have moved into being '30 in the shade' and not in the ‘just turned 30’ group. When you’re in your 30s you’re supposed to be a grown up. The funny thing is many people align being ‘grown up’ with marriage, mortgage, kids and a high paying job. And last time I went through that checklist I had none of those things. I think that is the problem of realising that I am now apparently a ‘woman’.

So, this leads on to me having a crisis every so often with what I choose to wear. When I lived with my second wife in London we both had our fears when it came to style. She feared that she dressed like her Mum in the 80s (if so, that was one super stylish mum) and I feared that I not only dressed too young for my age, I also looked like a lesbian (there’s nothing wrong with being lez, I just want straight boys to think I’m hetero.). My biggest fear was not only being trapped in a look but trapped in a possibly-lez-and-40-yet-dressing-like-a-25-year-old look - sorry I'm not going to post photographic evidence.

I managed to workshop myself out of this and things have been going along fine, sartorially speaking, until I now realise that my look is inching towards librarian and not in a good way. I need to walk away from a puff sleeve and/or pussybow shirt and short swishy skirt and come up with something else. Yet I have no idea what that will be.

I love a man who dresses simply (and leaves the giant do-rags to me) so maybe I should start taking it down a notch too and going classic. I was kinda saving that for when I am kicking back in a hammock, reading a book and knocking back a sherry, in say, 30 years. I don’t want to go from fearing I dress to young for my age to dressing too bloody old.

(a snapshot of me taken on the weekend)

I think I have stumbled upon one of the issues of living alone. Sometimes I do need to ask the question, ‘Would Madame like the mutton or the lamb?’ and have it honestly answered. Wives are good for that.

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