Big mouth strikes again
(Image is courtesy of one my besties http://www.eugenialim.com/. She's an artist. And I love her.)
All my life I have this terrible affliction of wanting to share all my emotions and events in my life with every single one of my friends at all times. I have tried fighting this problem on and off since I was about 15 and have repeatedly made promises to myself to keep some things secret but I just can’t. I am an oversharing junky. This affliction of mine is particularly overt when it comes to relationships.
Well, actually, let me revise that – relationships that haven’t even started yet.
There is a problem with doing this.
It means that every time I get excited about a prospective man/boy/dude (the first is the most preferable) who might be scoping me out, I have this terrible propensity to immediately tell all my closest friends. And my work mates. The problem is I end up repeating what he has/hasn’t done about 10 times a day and then have 10 different opinions coming at me. (As I’ve got older this hasn’t been such a huge issue as I have learned to listen to the voices in my head and not so much of the others I’ve invited in.) But what it does tend to do is place a completely unnecessary pressure on something that hasn’t even happened yet. And this is why I so easily whip myself up into a frenzy.
I’ve had quite a few friends over the years say ‘Perhaps you should just keep this one under wraps’. I try. I really do. But the secret – which isn’t even a big secret in the scheme of things, I think – gets the better of me and I end up telling ‘just one’ friend and that leads to another and another and before I know it I’m back to where I usually am. I can’t help myself.
I blame my father.
I’m the youngest of five kids and over the years Dad does this thing of telling you something that’s a big deal and then says ‘But don’t tell your brothers or sisters, it’s a secret. I’m just telling you’. This worked for about 25 years of my life before I started talking to my siblings about these so called ‘secrets’ and we realised that he says this to every single one of us! I love it.
So, what’s the point of keeping things secret? Share and share away.
I think I’ve finally come to terms that this is just one of things I won’t be able to change about myself.
And I can keep secrets. Sort of.
this has made me feel so much better today, i too have a classic case of foot in mouth disease and it tends to be always when, like you a prospective male is hanging around. my problem starts with me falling for guys WAY too fast, then this tends to lead me into that vortex of planning my "to be" future. classic case of too much talking / texting occured last night, to which i am sitting here this morning, hating my self and my big mouth/finger antics!! story goes, had drinks with boy who i quite like, had WAY too much to drink and decided it best to take my self home. after calling the boy on my journey home 13 times and not getting a response, i took communication to a new platform and started sending innapropriate an demanding texts inviting him to my house. i got home about 10.30pm i was drunk and i had to pack my bags as i was off on an interstate flight the next day. whilst throwing clothes in my suitcase and looking for toiletries i constantly checked my phone for some message back, still nothing - i am going to have to try a new tact, picture messaging.......(someone kill me) seriously not only is this just plain mortifying, i have to admit to myself that i am a total creep. so now its 9.33am and still nothing. i feel so annoyed with my self, i, unlike you have no one to blame, not even my father - myfamily actually have a heap of dignity, and im still trying to work out why the load was not shared my way.
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