Fake it till you make it

A few weeks ago I had a complete crisis of confidence at work and was freaking out. I had this awful feeling that any day I was going to be exposed as a fraud. I was no editor! I was some sort of infiltrator who through a series of magic tricks and smoke and mirror illusions managed to get my dream job. I was terrified. And….

I thought I was alone. Ah boo. I then listened to this Freakanomics podcast (it's #4) and realised everyone fakes it pretty much every day. This is how we do, you feel me?

So, me being me, began to share with my mates how I was feeling. I was shocked that pretty much everyone feels like this at some point in their career. My friends are all talented and successful I didn’t realise this feeling of being a fraud was experienced so far and wide. My brother reassured me that this feeling of self-doubt was a good thing. He called it ‘self-checking’ and talked about when he was training to be a fighter pilot after a ‘dog fight’ (and before they started playing beach volleyball) they would be in the debriefing room and it was the quiet ones who sat there questioning their abilities and wondering how the hell they’d come this far who ended up being the most successful fighter pilots. And not the cocky dudes kicking back talking about how amazing they were.

It then dawned on me that this feeling of fakery never happened to me when I was in my 20s. And no wonder. It was because I knew everything then and of course deserved to be in a much higher position at work… they just hadn’t picked up on my radness yet. Thank goodness as we age most of us morph from Ice Man into Goose.